Nip/Tuck's Guide to a Successful Phone Call

Nip/Tuck’s Guide to a Successful Phone Call (a.k.a. How to Take Up Most of Your Work Day While Doing Nothing):

 

1)      Drone on and on time about the same topics (how much she hates The Grinch, how she took Marketing 101 back in the 60’s and how our Marketing Director is an idiot because they did not, how she is the savior of our company, how she stays late “jammed” with work, and the list goes on) about 99% of the time

2)      Make sure the phone conversation lasts a MINIMUM of 45 minutes.  And that’s a short call. 

3)      Make sure she is the only one talking, as I seem to hear her talking incessantly leaving no long pauses for the person on the other end to reply.

4)      At the end, when she is clearly being cutoff by the person, huffily add, “Oh well I’m busy too, and don’t have time for this phone call either.”  HA!

5)      But always makes sure to leave her information.  “Yes my name is Nip/Tuck.  That’s N as in Nancy….” 

 

No, what you’re thinking is correct folks – all this time she was talking to a COMPLETE STRANGER!  And this happens at least once a day!  Why in the world would you tell a complete stranger about how much you hate your boss, all the projects you’re working on, etc.?!  The best/saddest part is many times it’s someone calling her from outside to ask her a simple question about our company – and this is what they’re subjected to.  One time someone even reached her accidentally trying to dial someone else!!  Some are nicer than others and will remain on the phone with her for upwards of close to 2 hours, while others finally make excuses after the first 45 minutes.    

 

So, Dear Reader, next time you pick up that phone and dial, beware who may be waiting for you on the other end…