Nip/Tuck Is My Pimp

Today I felt, if just for a fleeting second, what the "ladies of the night" (á la Roxanne) must feel like when their pimp daddy whores them out on the streets.  Dirty, disgusted, and humiliated.  Lately, admist whispers of impending layoffs roaming the hallways, Nip/Tuck has desperately, crazily, been trying to prove her worth.  Apparently she has decided to do so by showing people how she does have ONE employee under her (me unfortunately), and an intern to boot! I never knew when I accepted this job that not only would I be doing MY actual job, but that I would also be pimped out to random other people who are NOT even in my department to help them with their jobs. 

In a meeting the other day, a lady from Accounting was venting about how she is so swamped.  Nip/Tuck decides to offer her help by putting her hands on Intern and my shoulders and going, "That's what these are here for!  If you need help, just ask them!  They can do anything these young ladies!"

Firstly, "these"?!  As if we are not people with faces and names?!  Even hookers have names!  Secondly, while still inappropriate to be whoring out Intern's services, it is COMPLETELY UNACCETPABLE to be offering MY services out - a full-time employee with my own projects/jobs that have nothing to do with Nip/Tuck.  I only technically fall under her in some skewed hierarchial tree that they recently "revamped".   And since when am I an accountant?!  Thirdly, what would I be getting in return for this volunteered help?   NOTHING!!  I'm not even the classy, "event escort" type hooker who gets to wear fancy clothes, but the cheap, latex boots kind apparently. 

Oh Nip/Tuck - just you wait until the day I volunteer YOUR services.  You won't even be the kind with latex boots.  You'll be that 60-year old with garish red lipstick bleeding onto your teeth,wearing clothes that are much to small for you, sitting on box in the corner.

Sizzle, sizzle, burn.