The Day Nip/Tuck Lost It

...Wait, but that's everyday Sarah!

You're absolutely right. But today, she really lost it. Really, really.

The morning starts off with Nip/Tuck being pissed off (what's new?) that a certain Department hasn't gotten one of her projects done yet that she requested. And when Nip/Tuck is mad, she can't contain it. She can't be angry to herself, she has to yell at someone, anyone to feel better. Usually it's whoever is closest to her. Woe is me. So I get a yelling earful about "Why isn't this done?!" "What are they waiting for?!!" "How come nobody takes me seriously around here?!" (Answer: LOOK IN THE MIRROR CRAZY). In self-preservation mode, I have to reply that I am NOT involved with this project therefore no one has told me any of the answers to the questions she's asking. "Well then call so and so and find out why!!!" Umm...why wouldn't SHE just call them since I have no idea what she's talking about. "Because they all get off on ignoring me!" I get a huff and am saved by the bell (bell being her phone).

So being the good little slave I am, I call the appropriate person and suggest they may want to come talk to her and explain things since she's doing her normal monthly rant. (This is an ongoing project, and she rants about the SAME DAMN THING every month despite having been told every month for as long as I've been here WHY things can't get done exactly the way she wants by the higher ups - basically her project is not a priority, will never be a priority, and she needs to calm down. In one ear out the other.)

Poor soul comes to talk to Nip/Tuck. I can tell they're beating around the busy, talking about anything but. Finally they bring it up. In my opinion they should just be blunt at this point because Devil clearly does not get it. But, no. They try to be nice about it and in a kind way tell her, "we have limited space and sometimes certain projects get cut every month, and unfortunately yours are not high priority. The CEO and other people much higher ranked than you have priority so that's why yours got bumped." Wrong way to do it Poor Soul. Some highlights from the things that spewed out of The Devil's mouth after that:

"This is f-ing bullshit!!!!"

"My ass is on the line here!!" (Um...that's why the higher ups tell you every month to stop promising things to clients that we can't guarantee)

"F-ng morons!!"

"...since I'm not allowed to talk to any of the [insert Department here] people anymore!!" (Yea, because you used to bitch at them all month and take up their time for nothing so they made a rule that she's not allowed to directly speak to them anymore)

and I saved the best for last...

"I want to shoot the hell out of someone's leg right now!!"

(What is with this lady and shooting legs?! Oh and Poor Soul's response was to call out to me and tell me to "come here" to which I replied "no thanks I'll stay where I am and keep my leg" WHEN WOULD ANYONE EVER HAVE TO SAY THIS IN A WORK PLACE?!)

And all this before lunch. Nip/Tuck the most professional Devil you will ever have the misfortune of knowing.