Wednesday, December 9, 2009
So by the time the day of the deadline for the Big Project came around, Nip/Tuck was a complete and utter mess. The weeks leading up to it had been filled with nonstop screaming, profanity, and pounding of fists.
3 days before D-Day, our building had a surprise fire drill. All I can say is THANK GOD I was not on the same floor as Nip/Tuck when it went off. The second we hear the shrill ringing, Intern and I break out into hysterical laughter because we just know that Nip/Tuck is one floor above me losing her marbles. I can just hear it. And sure enough, not even a minute later, I get a text from The Dominatrix.
Where the hell you at? Ya'll suck leaving me up here with Nip/Tuck. She's going crazy and yelling and screaming.
You know it's bad when even The Dominatrix, with her high tolerance of crazy, thinks Nip/Tuck is going nuts. So being the good employees we are, we calmly file out of our building and gather at the designated meeting area. We bet $50 that Nip/Tuck refused to come down and is still sitting at her desik screaming. About 5 minutes later we finally see The Dominatrix hightailing it over to us. After telling us, "Ya'll suck! I've never seen anything like that!" Here is her story:
Nip/Tuck had been sitting in The Grinch's office chatting, and the second the alarms went off, they both start flipping out and screaming 'Shit! Fuck! Who's fucking idea was this?! Do they want us to finish our project or not?! Fuuuuuuuuck!'. Then they both ran out of the office like chickens with their heads cut off and ran into the hallway where everyone else was streaming out into to go down the stairs. Then they stood in the middle of the hallway, looked around at everyone evacuating, and started screaming some more, "What the fuck?! Shit! What idiot thought to have a fire drill TODAY?! Don't they know we have a deadline in 3 days?! Someone answer us!!!"
EDITOR'S NOTE: WHY would whoever does program these fire drills, care in a company of over 6000 people about one area's deadlines? Also, how would the random people evacuating know anything about any of this?
The Grinch eventually filed down with everyone else. But at first Nip/Tuck returned to her desk and sat there and refused to leave until the security people came in and told her she had to leave, that it was the law. Then she grudgingly and noisily trudged down 20 flights of stairs complaining the entire way. Once she reached the bottom, she saw one of the women who had coordinated this - a woman who is almost 68 mind you, and starts ripping into her, "Gertrude, was this your fucking idea!!! Don't you know I have a deadline in 3 days?! Do the executive not want this project completed!!! Well, I guess there will be no project then. This is bullshit!!! Of all the days you had to plan a drill, it had to be fucking today?!"
Apparently the poor old lady gave in and let Nip/Tuck back up, because I'm sure she got TONS of work done in the 30 minutes it took for the rest of us to re-enter the building. Because, you know, when I got back to my desk I see her on the phone bitching to someone about how "they" had the nerve to have a fire drill today of all days, etc. etc.
I guess the world really does revolve around Nip/Tuck - now I can understand why the planet is so screwed up.
3 days before D-Day, our building had a surprise fire drill. All I can say is THANK GOD I was not on the same floor as Nip/Tuck when it went off. The second we hear the shrill ringing, Intern and I break out into hysterical laughter because we just know that Nip/Tuck is one floor above me losing her marbles. I can just hear it. And sure enough, not even a minute later, I get a text from The Dominatrix.
Where the hell you at? Ya'll suck leaving me up here with Nip/Tuck. She's going crazy and yelling and screaming.
You know it's bad when even The Dominatrix, with her high tolerance of crazy, thinks Nip/Tuck is going nuts. So being the good employees we are, we calmly file out of our building and gather at the designated meeting area. We bet $50 that Nip/Tuck refused to come down and is still sitting at her desik screaming. About 5 minutes later we finally see The Dominatrix hightailing it over to us. After telling us, "Ya'll suck! I've never seen anything like that!" Here is her story:
Nip/Tuck had been sitting in The Grinch's office chatting, and the second the alarms went off, they both start flipping out and screaming 'Shit! Fuck! Who's fucking idea was this?! Do they want us to finish our project or not?! Fuuuuuuuuck!'. Then they both ran out of the office like chickens with their heads cut off and ran into the hallway where everyone else was streaming out into to go down the stairs. Then they stood in the middle of the hallway, looked around at everyone evacuating, and started screaming some more, "What the fuck?! Shit! What idiot thought to have a fire drill TODAY?! Don't they know we have a deadline in 3 days?! Someone answer us!!!"
EDITOR'S NOTE: WHY would whoever does program these fire drills, care in a company of over 6000 people about one area's deadlines? Also, how would the random people evacuating know anything about any of this?
The Grinch eventually filed down with everyone else. But at first Nip/Tuck returned to her desk and sat there and refused to leave until the security people came in and told her she had to leave, that it was the law. Then she grudgingly and noisily trudged down 20 flights of stairs complaining the entire way. Once she reached the bottom, she saw one of the women who had coordinated this - a woman who is almost 68 mind you, and starts ripping into her, "Gertrude, was this your fucking idea!!! Don't you know I have a deadline in 3 days?! Do the executive not want this project completed!!! Well, I guess there will be no project then. This is bullshit!!! Of all the days you had to plan a drill, it had to be fucking today?!"
Apparently the poor old lady gave in and let Nip/Tuck back up, because I'm sure she got TONS of work done in the 30 minutes it took for the rest of us to re-enter the building. Because, you know, when I got back to my desk I see her on the phone bitching to someone about how "they" had the nerve to have a fire drill today of all days, etc. etc.
I guess the world really does revolve around Nip/Tuck - now I can understand why the planet is so screwed up.
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