I Did the Crime, Now I Have to Pay the Time

Yesterday one of everyone's work nightmares came true for me. I accidentally sent an email ABOUT Nip/Tuck TO Nip/Tuck! Obviously it was intended for someone else. And as any good panicking worker would do, I immediately attempted to recall it. But, let me share with you dear reader, "Recall" is the dumbest feature added to Outlook ever. Because, despite the fact that it asks you if you want recall and delete all unread copies of the message, it doesn't do that. The person still sees the email, they just see on top that this message has been recalled, so it is now very obviously a mistake! It's like highlighting your mistake, drawing big fat red arrows pointing to it, writing "LOOK AT ME!!!" all over it, and leaving it on someone's desk. Recall my ass.

On top of it, it happened to be the one day in, oh about a YEAR, that Nip/Tuck is not hours behind on her email, not on the phone, actually sitting at her computer reading whatever pops up. A perfect storm. I immediately hear her furiously typing and have a sinking feeling that I know why. My tummy feels nauseous. At this point I decide well there's nothing I can do if she's already read it, I might as well preemptively diffuse the situation by going over there and acting like nothing's a big deal. So my strategy is to pick someone she hates (it's a long list, one I'm sure I'm now at the top of), and try to start a conversation about them – her favorite thing to do that I normally refuse to cooperate with. I walk over. I see her replying to my email over her shoulder. I paste a big grin on my face and go for it. It worked for all of 5 minutes before she brings up that she was replying to my email and was clearly pissed off, as well she should be. Luckily I hadn't written anything mean or personal even, but it was just proof to her that we talk about her, and maybe don't think she's the nicest person. I deftly try to change the subject. It works. Now she's in her chatting mode. Normally I can only last 10 minutes before I have to get up and leave.

But I did the crime, so I'm putting in the time.

Ladies and gentlemen, I sat there for a full hour and 14 minutes. No shifting of the legs, no swallowed yawns. Nothing, but smiles, nodding, and feigned "No! I can't believe that! You ARE so slammed!" "I can't believe so and so, you're sooo right!" It was the most butt kissing I'd ever done. It. Was. Exhausting. Finally I think it's been enough time, she must be over it by now and excuse myself and go back to my desk.

Not even a minute later is her super defensive reply to the email I accidentally sent her CCing the originally intended recipient. Guess she's not over it yet.

I'm still putting in the time. Today, I've already sat and listened to her rantings for 45 minutes. The punishment does not fit the crime! I throw myself at the mercy of the court!