My Favoritest Person

His name is Barney. And he is eerily similar to one of my favorite characters on “The Office” – Stanley. Now if you’ve never watched “The Office” – you should. And pay close attention to the greatness that is Stanley. The I’ve been here longer than most you fools have been alive, I know this is a dumb job in a dumb office, I know most of these meetings are pointless and stupid, and I could care less about ANY OF IT man of the hour. Barney is my hero. He looks like Morgan Freeman, and acts like Stanley. He brings me endless hours of amusement. In meetings, he defiantly sits in the corner by himself and shamelessly rolls his eyes so languidly that you wonder if they’ll ever really make it to the top of his eyelids. He remains silent as a stone until someone says something REALLY stupid, and then mutters in his booming voice, “That’s stupid.” And no one dares say otherwise. Because we all know it's true.

Oh, did I mention he wears velvet sweatsuits to work?  P-I-M-P.