Why off-site meetings suck:

1) You have to sit in a small car with the people you love most in the world for what seems like an endless amount of time.

2) While in small car, you have to make awkward conversation, or, in my case, refrain from rolling my eyes every 3 minutes at all the dumb comments they make.

3) Have to listen to boss (Nip/Tuck) complaining about how she ended up being the driver – oh, I’m sorry, was your chauffeur not available today? I mean driving all of 15 minutes is pretty strenuous.

4) Have to listen to boss yell at other passenger about not being a backseat driver, as other passengers giggle crazily.

5) Have to listen to The Crazy a.k.a. The Grinch talk about some dumb argument she had months ago with another co-worker about directions to this meeting. Apparently the person she was arguing with drives past the building everyday.

6) Have to sit through the misery of The Crazy turning out to be right. After which she proceeds to repeat SEVEN times in a high pitched, little kid voice, complete with lisp and all, “I drive past this building everyday. Suuuure you do. You’re wrong and I’m right.” She is not saying this TO anyone, mind you. More like mumbling to herself. This goes on for another TEN MINUTES. (I would say it’s akin to a 5-year old going “Neener, neener, neener” – but to the air.)

7) Have to sit through an excruciatingly long meeting that is sprinkled with comments from Nip/Tuck about how she was “forced” to drive here, and had a backseat driver, no less.

8) Have to sit in small car on way back again while The Grinch ONCE AGAIN comments on how she was right, and the other person was wrong.

At least this time the other passenger is driving – except – wait, he’s a crazy driver! Deliberately drives over potholes to “give us gals a thrill”, and doesn’t brake going down the long spiral ramp. Wow, thanks. I think I just lost my lunch. Oh wait, I didn’t have lunch because I had to go to this stupid meeting. Thank God for small mercies.